dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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