Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
