and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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