Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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