dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
