My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
