i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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