do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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