I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
