Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
