I wish they made helmets for livers.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
