Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
