Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
