so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
