Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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