So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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