i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
