you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
