i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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