I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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