i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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