Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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