you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
