wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
