She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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