you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I checked into jail on foursquare
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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