my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
