She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
