If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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