I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
