FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I would fuck him just for his dog
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize