I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
