Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
