Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
