just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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