We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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