does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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