Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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