I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wear drunk well.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
