dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
where does the pee come out of this thing
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
