they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
