You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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