just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
