How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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