She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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