at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
