Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
