Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
