My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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