If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
