If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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